sometimes i feel like i'm going to explode

I'm part of too many things. my mind is in too many places, places i've been and places i currently am. Part of the seedy meth smoking SF underground, part of the professional snowboard dream, part of a quiet but entrancing ski town, part of hip hop, part of the DC rave scene, part of a well known canadian oil family, part of a puerto rican gang, part of a domino playing drug enterprise, part of a hippie commune, part of a zen buddhist family, part of a rich dysfunctional irish catholic family, part of an elegant italian family that talks about the Old Country and the Evil Eye, part of plastic scottsdale bullshit, part of the complacent northern virginia suburbs, part of the new york city fashion industry, and part of a hard working east coast family with a harley riding dad and a mom who abandoned ship to pursue her masters degree. Sometimes I don't know what to follow and sometimes I don't know what state I'm in. Sometimes it's true that I want to shut it all out. Sometimes it's true that I believe life is what you make it. Maybe a person can only take so many lives in one lifetime.

i'm 99.9% sure i just survived SARS. More later.

the grammys...yawn...

remember when this was riske?

that's more fabric than lady gaga has ever had on her body at one time. and speaking of lada gaga, i say NO to her first dress and okay, fine, to her second. the tube dress is just ridiculous and reminds me of an old episode of Dr. Who. But it's the fucking yellow hair that really gets me. HELLZ NO. gross. and the pink trannystick and dark eyes do not belong together. one or the other, please. the weird spiky accessory is fine with me. it looks interesting in the photos and you can always spike kanye with it if he gets too close to your mike while you're onstage, so i'm down.

and what's up with beyonce and the ice skater mermaid dresses at every fucking occasion (you can be a shorty in my ill convoy: step up, hova)? it's been years, beyonce. get a new look.


i know this is a lot of shit talking. hooray for everyone and their own form of self expression.