he owes me approximately q98347981347592834 dollars, and i only think it's fair that he at least pay back $4000 of it. once in a while, just for the fuck of it, i text him to ask him when he plans on paying me back. it's usually right after i've told someone the story of how we broke up and all the financial shit he pulled, and the person says holy SHIT that is fucked up, and then i realize that yes, it is totally fucked and i should text him just to see what he says.
so of course he writes back "what debt? what are you talking about?" like he has no idea. which is hilarious because it's basically been the topic of every argument we've had for the last year. so i explain the debt to him like he's five, which he is on the inside, and sort of on the outside too actually.
so then the text battle ensues, and then he calls me which is always a total shitshow. the call usually starts sort of civilly, and then he starts saying the most random things like "i shouldn't have to pay you back because i don't have time, i have a 2 hour commute everyday." that makes total sense, never mind. uhhh wtf??? so then i say, it's your choice to live with your parents in the Virginia countryside and work in DC. then he says "i don't have time, i have to talk to my army recruiter every day." oohhhh right, the army recruiter, you know, to re-enlist in the army that you went AWOL from. good call. So i say, "that's your choice as well, and really, how long does that take every day?" and then, the inevitable happens. he does this thing where he starts to list all the things that are going on in his life, and then he starts to yell the list, and by the end it's just him screaming a list of bullshit excuses in a fake boston accent into the phone. the list will also invariably include the fact that he thinks having a job you love doesn't constitute work (i worked fucking 15 hour days, 5 days a week the entire time we were together, but he doesn't think it was actual work because work is something you hate.)
so he's like "well also i have to lie to the army every day about having had melanoma so they will send me to iraq and also my dog died and also i have to sit with my dad while he cries about having lung cancer AND I HAVE TO WORK NOT THAT YOU'D KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE AND I HAVE TO HAVE DRINKS SOMETIMES AND I HAVE CLASSES AND FINALS AND I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS CAR THAT I FUCKING HATE AND I HAVE TO HAVE MEETINGS AT THE RESTAURANT AND I HAVE TO DO IT ALL WITHOUT BLOWING MY FUCKING HEAD OFF SO NO, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PAY YOU BACK."
and his poisonous anger filled bullshit starts to seep into the phone and i can feel it toxifying my cells and i can literally feel stress chemicals begin to eat away at my insides and i realized why the fuck i kicked his pathetic ass to the curb in the first place, and instead of saying all the shit i want to say - the logical, normal shit that makes total sense - i just calmly tell him what a child he is and hang up the phone.
the bottom line is that all the money in the world isn't worth having to deal with an irresponsible childish pathetic alcoholic for the rest of my life, and i got off easy.
12 comments:
is there any legal way you can go about collecting your money?
I've dealt with the same thing and ultimately I just let it go and tried to comfort my empty bank account self with the truth that my bank account may be empty but his life was emptier and so far from what I can see and have heard, that's been true, well partly true since my bank account isn't empty anymore....
good luck with all that anyway.
my lawyer advised me that the amount of money i would spend getting him to repay me would outweigh the amount he owes me, and since he has no savings and no assets we would only be able to garnish his wages for a few hundred a month for the next twenty years which would make me tied to him for the next twenty years which would be worse than just sucking it up and paying that shit back myself. but fuck, it's almost worth it just to force him to be responsible for once in his pathetic life.
nope, not worth it hun. believe me. his lawyer (ahem, i mean his parent's lawyer) would try to drag you through the mud and throw as much shit at the wall as they could, just to see if any of it stuck. let it go and count yer lucky stars he's no baby's daddy.
sadly, he is a baby daddy. just not mine.
and you've never met my lawyer. trust me, it would be epic.
oh i had a great lawyer too. made my ex look like an epic dorkus and won my case and got me child support...also ran me $20,000 in the hole.
I wasn't married (you were, am I right?) to the angry person, but was very briefly involved and it pains me to admit I'm still crazy anxious over ANGER ever since. The sound of anyone being ANGRY ANGRY now makes my heart race, makes me sweat, makes my whole being go into a very dark place. This just for 3 months (!!) with a completely bipolar, intensely angry, abusive person. Good god, it can sound silly when you say it all out loud, but that short period of time - Sept to Dec 2006, YES 4 YEARS AGO ALMOST - was like nothing I'd ever experienced before.
The anger. The anger and just firespeak is.. draining. Putting it lightly. Worse than draining, you can come out of it with a serious anxiety problem surrounding 'angry people'. I still have racing heart, heated body, intense sadness just being near people who go off in that really scary way. Fuck. I hate that I'm still talking about this. But I have yet to figure out a way to truly forget it. He didn't get so much materially from me except for a suitcase ull of my clothes and PICTURES (ALL my photos from childhood til present), and a gigantic phone bill (took my phone and let his friend make 1000000 LD calls). Just. Ugh. The bitter, depression, anger still eats me alive. How to get over? Fuck sakes.
Sorry for yammering on mental about a 3 MONTH SITUATION. I'm a softie though. It shook my soul
Sounds like a shit-head. In my experience it's best to run as far as you can from crazy ex boyfriends. We all have one (at least) in our shady pasts, right? ;-)
annie! exactly! firespeak is the absolute best way to describe it. just a stream of fire with no purpose other than to cause anxiety and distract from the real issue at hand. i think of anger as a drug, because the people i know who really thrive on it seem to get high on it. they try to work things out logically for a hot second, but inevitably they turn back to that rush of emotions and fall off the wagon.
Virginie - yes, we all have at least one. i just happened to have married mine, so it's a little harder to run away. i got as far as i physically could, he's in DC and i'm in San Francisco. it's a good start, now we just have to work on that divorce.
Wow. Bruuuutal.
You are right- you DID get off easy... but you still fucking deserve your hard-earned money too.
Jesus, did we date the same dude??????
(We didn't, but this sound a bit like my situation.)
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