do you ever go to a party and be super psyched because you're with your homegirls and you all look fly but you had to put some time into it but then after you are feeling great and having a great time someone shows up at the joint that looks EXACTLY like you WISH you looked and actually you DO look just like but only in your head and there's no chance of looking like them because your eyes are too small and your nose is too big and also your ethnicity is totally completely wrong basically?

but then you start to hang out and even thought the totally fine person you wish you looked like also has the singing voice you wish you had while they tear it up at guitar hero you start to realize that the person is only cool at first and then ultimately is super annoying because the perfect looks got them so god damned far in the ol game of life that they have the uber confidence that comes from never getting humbled because they have hot sexy looks but no actual game and no actual SUBSTANCE and then you are secretly happy at the end of the night when you realize that you would rather be yourself than anyone else because the only thing the person you wish you looked like has to say is that your hair is seriously awesome and that they need more red wine and that they basically just need attention no matter where it comes from or else POOF! DISAPPEARANCE.

yeah, me too.

i just ripped this from Highwaisted's blog. i'm not trying to bite your style girl! i just had to repost because this is real hip hop and it need to be spread around as much as possible.

this shit makes me even more depressed about the current state of hip hop.

if you tried to get that many MCs on stage today there'd be nothing to see but a grip of blood diamonds on chains and wack rhymes about drugs and guns.

fucking EXACTLY

Producing the gems

By gochrisuniverse | Published: 09/12/2009

[23:23] gochrisuniverse: i wish i talked to more people
[23:23] gochrisuniverse: well, no
[23:23] gochrisuniverse: there are people i could talk to
[23:23] gochrisuniverse: but they wouldn’t produce the gems
[23:25] tinainreallife: On average, people don’t say much that’s interesting.
[23:26] tinainreallife: There’s a rare group of people that just get it. And I’m not even talking about getting it.
[23:26] tinainreallife: I’m talking about the most basic level of getting it.
[23:26] tinainreallife: Which separates interesting people from everyone else.
[23:26] tinainreallife: Then there’s the cream of the crop.

I HEART YOU SO HARD.

i just got in a disagreement with someone tonight about how i'm a "bitch" because i don't go out of my way to force friendships with people i don't find interesting. i'm not a bitch. i'm just bored by most people because they are boring. you either have that spark and i find you intriguing, or not. i don't think there's anything wrong with that.

then i randomly read this a few minutes after the argument and felt totally justified. i think i even used the exact line "people don't say much that's interesting". Halleluja, sister.

dear arab parrot

move back to nyc where you don't need a car and no one gives a fuck if you jaywalk.

xo

la dick

dear facebook ads,

please try to step up your game. adidas have THREE stripes.

i'm just going to say it.

i fucking hate the movie A Christmas Story. clown me all you want, but i think that movie is more depressing than Sofie's Choice and more annoying than Caddyshack. Yes, i also hate the movie Caddyshack. Can we still be friends?

it must be soooo hard!

i recently wrote that lady gaga was somehow growing on me. i take it all back.

"I get all the symptoms of a pregnant woman," the 23-year-old star said. "I get headaches, I get tired, I get blurred vision sometimes during a really intense session with [design collective] the Haus [of Gaga]."

first of all, wow, how hard it must be to shoulder all that fame. i mean seriously, you don't even ask for the attention and it's just all poured on you for no reason!

secondly, there's a fucking Haus of GAGA coming? FUCK YOU. another one on the fucking Celebrity Clothing Line Bandwagon.

having money, interesting personal style, and celebrity do not give you automatic permission to start a clothing line. there are two key elements missing from the above list - the most important elements of all - and they are talent and training as a designer. Having an "intense session" with the people you hired to create your line is not the same thing as being a passionate and on point designer. you can put together a great (or bizarre, or whatever) outfit and sing and be a characature and be super charismatic and slightly mysterious all day all night, but for the love of god, do not think it grants you the right to turn out a painful and pretentious clothing line based only on the merit of your celebrity status. we'll leave the crazy famewhoring and pants-less outfits to you and your great (for a white girl) ass, if you promise to leave the designing to us, the people intensely passionate about expressing ourselves through our design so that you, the celebrity, can use our clothing to express yourself. see? it's a give give situation. don't get it twisted.

and really? REALLY? you get headaches after an INTENSE SESSION? please. it's designing clothing, not shock therapy.

***UPDATE (writers embarrassed note):

okay, sorry.

i just googled haus of gaga and found out that it is not a clothing line after all. it's actually the name for the team of designers who design and create all her clothing for tours and videos. and apparently they look at lada gaga "like a mother and daughter and sister, with pride and love," which you really can't hate on.

i truly apologize for my crazy diatribe and would like to instead have you read the above post but with your choice of Beyonce, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, Nicky Hilton, or Jennifer Lopez in place of Lady Gaga. DO NOT add gwen stefani because L.A.M.B. shoes are dope as hell, and don't add Andre 3000 because he can do whatever he damn well pleases. Thanks for your time.

xo

la dick

just sayin...

leave tiger aloooonnnne!

my fast starts on Friday night. i have a three hour class on friday evening (where a "delicious liquefied raw soup" will be served. uhhh oxy moron much? okay okay just kidding, i like gazpacho as much as the next guido.) anyway, i've been reading through the Fasting Manual and as well as taking 30 different supplements and 15 juice drinks a day, i'm also supposed to fast from the media. interesting. honestly i feel just as toxic from reading dlisted as i do from all the ecstasy i ate and coke i railed in the 90s. okay, fine, the 90's and early 2000's. reading about celebrity gossip and doing drugs are basically the same in my book - fun but toxic for your insides.

so starting friday night i will be fasting from dlisted and the news, and "feasting on love, air, sunshine, and positivity." no, seriously.

but before my media fast i just have to say one thing about tiger woods. here it is:

WHO GIVES A FUUUUUUUCCKKKKKKK?

leave the man alone. it's none of our business if tiger's hustle is to hook up with hot cocktail waitresses coast to coast. it's none of our business if his wife attacked him with a golf club or if Tiger is about make it rain on Tiffany's. (I see a Kobe Special in the near future.) (i think kobe is innocent, btw.) there are literally a million other things that are more important than tiger woods having an affair, and that's just in NYC alone. enough already.

and tiger, seriously, "transgressions"? DENY DENY DENY. Who is your PR agent and how to i replace him? this all could have gone away if you hadn't admitted a transgression. goodbye nike.