La Dick

so friday night i went out with my homegirl to a trashy dive bar. i don't know why we chose this particular joint. there's a stripper pole on top of a pool table and the trashy bitches there mob it and grind all over it and each other like 16 year old prositutes at a Rosarita whorehouse (i ended up in one of those once, i know what i'm talking about.) (it was not on purpose.)

anyway so then i'm dancing with/next to/no actual contact some young dude with good style but no real game, and his trashy stripper pole grinding ex girlfriend jumps off the pool table and comes up and pushes me out of the way and tells this dude they "need to talk, right now, this is bullshit" so they go outside and all of a sudden there's a huge commotion and the bitch is running to his car to smash his windows in and all her trashy girls are running behind her with muffin tops bouncing in the streetlights and he runs after them to protect his car and his friends are laughing hysterically and i'm wondering why the fuck i even leave the house.

he comes back inside to tell me what went down and i say hold on, i'll be right back, and go home. drama is the last thing i'm into right now.


the next day i woke up with crazy hangover anxiety even though i wasn't drunk. i took a xanax, emergen-C, ionic fizz, ibuprofen and pineapple juice cocktail and went back to bed. why is it that four drinks make me totally worthless the next day?

i didn't leave the bed ALL DAY, except for my 12:30 nail appointment and to take biggie smalls outside. it honestly felt so damn good to just chill and watch CSI (las vegas, duh) episodes online and ignore the phone. i did turn down a sex toy party which would have probably been hilarious and interesting, but that's really not my style anyway, especially when i'm too anxious to even have a conversation with my closest friends. i can't imagine a more awkward situation actually, full on anxiety retardation while trying to socialize with strangers and vibrators? NAGL.


so that's my weekend. how was yours?